An astrophysicist has made an incredible, breakthrough discovery, and it gets press in all the papers and is heralded by his peers as well. Naturally, he embarks on a tour giving lectures at universities around the country.

For the tour, he has a driver to get him smoothly from one pace to the next, and with so much time together, the two become friends. After a couple of months and stops at dozens of locations, the driver says, “You know, you’ve got an easy gig.”
“Is that so?” asks the scientist incredulously.
“Yeah, all you do is go from place to place giving the same talk, and you’re making a fortune.”
“Well, it’s not as easy as it looks, I’ll have you know. Do you think you could give a lecture on astrophysics?”
“I’ve heard your talk two-dozen times, I’m sure I could give it.”

So a bet is made for a hundred dollars. The driver will attempt to give the speech. If it goes well, he wins. If it goes poorly, the professor will intervene, explain the bet humorously and triumphantly, and take over with no harm done to his reputation.
At the hotel, they dress in each others clothing, the scientist decked out in the driver’s uniform and cap, and the driver wearing a suit and tie and spectacles.
At the hall, the driver does a stunningly good job of delivering the speech, and sitting in the back, the professor is astonished.
As the applause dies down, the driver begins to step down from the podium, but he’s stopped by the voice of the host over the microphone saying, “I think we have some extra time. Does anyone have any questions for the professor.”
Hands go up all over the auditorium. The driver begins to sweat, and the professor does too–it’s gone on too long to reveal the ruse now.
The first questioner asks an impossibly complicated and technical question. Clearly, this person knows what he’s talking about.
The professor puts his head in his hands, waiting for things to come unglued.
“Well,” begins the driver, “I must say, that is the most idiotic question I have ever heard.”
A stunned silence as the other would-be questioners put their hands down.
The man who’d posed the question is clearly unimpressed by this posturing, believing he’s exposed a flaw in the theory.
“Really, that’s an impossibly simplistic question, and I’m shocked that you felt like that was worth my time and the time of this audience.”

He went on, “In fact, to show you just how stupid your question is, I’m going to let my driver in the back of the auditorium answer it for you.”

1. Be excellent to each other #fcukyeah
2. Listen more than you speak. Most people speak too much. Fewer speak when they have something interesting to say. Me? Well I can’t speak without my lawyer.
3. You probably won’t get something you want in life unless you ask for it first #fact_jack
4. Whatever happens, don’t forget to walk your dog and water the plants.
5. Don’t panic.
6. Smile whenever you enter a room.
7. Trust everyone by default –  you forgive people who break that trust but don’t forget it.
8. Do it for the story #worth_it
9. Assume nothing. If you’re wrong you’re probably screwed.
10. Be polite.
11. Know a little bit about everything. Enough to have a conversation with someone about any topic
12. Read interesting things that are outside of your comfort zone. About animal psychology or world capital cities.
13. Ask people excellent riddles (know the answers but don’t tell them it until it really bugs them. Naturally you need to know awesome riddles….like the 3 switches one.
14. It’s OK to disagree with people’s opinion’s but defend their right to have them.
15. Be friends with your parents.
16. Play the people watching game every day by yourself or with others because its fun.
17. Expect nothing. Go with the flow.
18. Dance like nobody’s watching. Dance in the rain.
19. Under-promise and always try your best to over-deliver. People will remember it.
20. Slow down. Let your mind wonder.

this.is.an.in.com.plete.list.

We’re taught about tone, form, ‘seeing not just looking’, scale, subject, intention. We were taught things like sticking a pencil in the air in front of us to get the right angles which should then be brought down to the piece of paper in front of us. Draw and paint what you see. Stop imagining things you want to paint because it doesn’t look like that. People don’t have lines around their faces right…so how should you actually go about drawing a face?

The best students still got A’s though. But how can you define ‘best’ in the context of art? They got A’s because they produced amazing looking things for their bracket. Seriously though, don’t think that you can really.

Art should be about perception. I saw a cool image once that said:

MODERN ART = I COULD HAVE DONE THAT + YEAH BUT YOU DIDN’T

Question. How does a student become a famous artist? How do they make it at MoMA or the guggenheim? Do they paint how they are told to paint and then produce odd things when they’ve made it? No idea. If Monet’s child drew scribbles why does Rob see baby scribbles and walk away while Bob see’s the stroke of a future artistic genius and offers squillions of Pounds for the paper?

Because art is bullshit.

Art should be whatever we want it to be and if we’re told we’re not meant to take art on further, then take a look around in your local modern art gallery or museum.

Isn’t it?

This was between 2.30pm and 4pm on the 21st of Jan 10. No real clear picture going on here. The blobs represent a stationary mouse (lots of reading and typing if you’re a web analyst. Or tea breaks, duh).

This one was between 3.30pm and 5.30pm on the 22nd of Jan 10. Way too many blobs. Oops. Compare to Hollie’s below (designer) over a similar time frame which is much busier. Spot the Photoshop behaviour

Set up is easy. Windows here et Mac link here.